Hi, boy is this hard.I lost my partner Ann in October last year, and between then and now I haven't even cried. I don't know why, I usually don't struggle with crying for others. I have lived with her for 35 years, and now I feel that all the love I gave her was only to put valuable items in her kids pockets. Her kids are all over 40 so not babies. I want to say to someone on here that I am seriously just lost. I have no family locally, my younger brother and his family decided to tell me they have moved, the day I lost Ann. So not one person has tried to help me or even give me a text message with 2 letters, OK. Thats all I needed, but I have just slipped through the cracks and I am dying from the inside out. Every day I look in the mirror and the only thing I think of is how to not wake up in the morning. I have listened to the medical professionals, it's a process it takes time, time heals, codswallop in my book. I don't feel better after a few hours sleep, all I want to do is sleep. I've lost 11 stone in weight since October, I don't want to eat, and being disabled and unable to prepare food etc only adds to the excuses to avoid food. I am so ill now that the tiny bit of food I eat only just keeps my heart ticking, I have no energy or will or desire to do anything else. Sorry for taking so long to rant over this, but I am desperately trying to get reasons to believe there is life after Ann,but all I see is a deep black cavern,and I am stuck in the dark with a map I can't understand, a listener who has no idea I need to talk to get the stuff out of my head and at least have a person who will say I am not mad for wanting to go to bed and not wake up, but before you get there lets see if you try something different that you can maybe calm down and see what the future might mean.

Posted by annette1907 at 2022-04-26 22:08:18 UTC