I lost my younger brother last month. It was unexpected, he was only 36 years old. Every day is getting harder. I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t tell my family how I feel because they are hurting and I don’t want to scare them or worry them. My brother had so much hurt in his life and he was failed over and over again. Even in his final moments. The ambulance took too long. They arrived ten minutes after he had passed. Our dad gave him cpr and blames himself because he couldn’t save him. My mum saw everything from when his seizure started. The whole ordeal from him starting his seizure to the paramedics stopping treatment took around an hour. We’re so broken. I’m supposed to be going back to work tomorrow. I don’t feel ready. I’m failing at being a parent, my kids haven’t been in school since because I can’t face anything. Getting back to my old normal feels wrong and impossible. I hate this pain but also don’t want the pain to stop. I don’t want to accept it and I don’t want to heal from this. I miss him so much.
Posted by carla at 2022-04-25 12:06:17 UTC