Hi i have just joined here so im hoping it helps. I lost my partner coming up 9 months ago, it waa very unexpectedly and suddenly. He was only 42 we had been together all day and about 3 pm when we had got back from doing sum errands and dropping off the things we had bought. This waa the last time i saw him alive as we had 1 more errand to do and he said he wasnt feeling to gud his head was spinning, so he was going to av a lay down and for me and my daughter to do what we had to do. He went in our front doir and me and my daughter were sat there about 10/15 mins deciding what to do. So we decided to go do what we had to do. Came back about 45 mins later and thats when i found out he had passed away on our bed 😭💔. I cant remember much but my daughter has filled me in on sum things. From the 2nd of August 2021 everything has gone wrong, its been bad things after bad things. When my partner was in the Chapel of rest i got to c him nearly 2 weeks after he passed away they had thrown him in the coffin, his hair was wet through, wjat they made him look like shocked me and then after 2 days of going in to c him i realises they hadnt embalmed his body. So i got to watch the most horrific things happen to my partners body, i had to read up about if there shuld b that much blood and thats when i found out about the whole embalming process 😭. The ppl besides 1 lady at the Chapel of rest were really nasty, unsympathetic. I got told to shut up crying the first time i went to c him. I had my late partners family threatening me, which i had to get police involved. Since the funeral i have slowly been going down and now i very low, stay in bed most of the time, i cant evan wash up anymore and i dont want to, i am either numb or crying so much that i cant breathe, get flash backs, my anxitey is bad, i getting panick attacks like i have never had before, i feel ill all the time, sleep normally durung day and up at night or i just sleep 18 hrs. I have been to a grief councillor had 2 sessions and she told me as i had so many other issues in my life that she culdnt help me and i begged her to not discharge me but she did. I have spoken to doctors they keep trtimg to get me to refer to minds mattee which i av done but sadly they are no use. They dont help all they do is tell me that all i need is cbt which i have tried but i not there yet to do cbt. I know i have other issues i need to make sense of. I have no family as they are not gud ppl so i on my own really, i do have 2 grown up children who help best they can but they got lots going on too. I just feel so alone , frightened, dont know what to do, where to go. I jusr want my soul mate back and b our little family again 💔💔💔

Posted by lisalindsel15 at 2022-04-25 10:52:22 UTC