Hey I’m new here. I lost my dad 11 months ago and my boyfriend 5 months ago. I feel like I’ve been hit by a train twice and the losses have effected me so differently. I feel like everyday I go through the stages of grief all at once. I can’t sleep, can’t eat or find joy in anything. I just feel lost and like my youth has been taken away from me. I fear I’ll feel this way forever but I also don’t want to feel good because the grief is all I have left. I do the same mundane things everyday and try work as much as possible to fill every minute of the day so I don’t have to feel anything. But when I crack I really crack and I feel like this is torture. There is always going to be this void and I know for the rest of my life there’s nothing that can fill it. I wonder if I’ll ever not be in denial. I wish there was a guide to this so I’d know to hang in there and I’ll reach a stage where things will fall into place. This is just painful. And I know I have to do it all again tomorrow.
Posted by moonsamykiarah at 2022-08-10 10:02:22 UTC