I haven’t posted on this app yet but today has been overwhelming for a few reasons. I figured now is as good a time as any to dump what’s going on in my mind on here and get it out healthily. It’s now August and I’m terrified. August means September is coming soon. August of 2021 was the last month my life felt normal and unclouded. September 2, 2021, I lost my brother to overdose. He was 24 and the light of our lives. He and I were the closest out of anyone in our family. It was also 2 days before my 20th birthday, and I always figured I’d look forward to 21, but I’m dreading it now that it’s coming up and I’m sure I always will. I can’t believe it’s almost been a year, it’s felt so long and yet so short, it’s all really just felt like one whole fever dream. I could swear yesterday was Christmas. Since losing him, I’ve worked incredibly hard and graduated college with honours and a very proud support system, but it all feels so sad without him being able to see it with me. His celebration of life is coming up on August 27, and it’s on the last day I ever saw him alive, I’m sure I’ll post after that because it will be very hard. I feel very lost still and to be honest, I don’t think I’ve fully come to terms with it. I feel stuck in denial and shock some days, others I can’t stop thinking of it. This app has helped, but I miss him so much. Connor Roy, my big brother, I will miss you until it’s my turn to go ❤️ we’ll meet again some sunny day

Posted by ericaroy at 2022-08-02 21:04:50 UTC