I lost my mum 3 months ago. I organised the funeral, contacted everyone and have been going through her things. I can’t seem to stop or pause or I just break down when I do. I keep being invited out or away with friends and I just don’t want to go - I feel numb and that kind of distraction doesn’t help as friends don’t know how to talk about it and I just want to go home where I feel safe and can cry if I need to. I was my mums full time carer for a year as she got worse. She was my best friend and we did everything together. I held her hand as she took her last breath and wasn’t able to speak to her in her last 6 weeks as something escalated in her head. She passed away in her home as she wanted to. She left us with 2 beautiful dogs, I have 1 of my own as well. They’re pretty good therapists I have to say. I have a counsellor who I speak to weekly. I feel heavy and like everything is grey and dull without her. Does this ever get better? I don’t know how to get out of this cycle and don’t want to be a drain on friends, but also just find most friends want to change the subject or distract me- and I don’t want that so avoid going out. I feel tired all the time 😔

Posted by LJB at 2022-08-01 09:06:28 UTC