…everyday I wake up and wish I could tell myself this is all a nightmare. It’s been one month and 3 days. The longest 33 days of my life! My brother suffered from substance abuse disorder for many years. On June 28, 2022 he overdosed on Fentanyl after being sober for 3+ years. My little baby is gone. My whole life crashed that night. I had to make the decision to stop CPR on my baby brother. This was a decision that I never thought I would make. My heart is shattered in a million pieces. I could never fathom this kind of pain. I don’t know how to keep going. I am a nurse and save peoples’ lives for a living but couldn’t save one of the lives that meant the most to me 💔😢 As the oldest sibling, I have always been tough on the younger ones. Now a days, I wish I would’ve just showed more love. I’m so confused most of the time…i feel shocked, angry and jealous. Jealous of all the people who have text messages and voicemails and pictures and videos of/and with him. I wish I could get one more chance to do it all over again. I miss him so much. June 28, 2022 at 6:36pm, I received a message that my little baby had “no heartbeat, no pulse.” Those words will forever be ingrained in my mind. He was officially announced DOA at the hospital at 7:28pm. My life will never be the same and I just don’t know how to deal 😔😞😣😢😭 Chris (forever 34).

Posted by masonstiti at 2022-07-31 19:00:44 UTC