We are laying my niece to rest today. Haven't even mourned my mother yet. She died June 18th. It's so sad. Arrived in VA last night for the funeral today and the whole family is just so lost and empty. We are all dealing with so much that we can barely console each other or grieve over one because we automatically grieve over the other. I guess shared grief is fine but people who would be providing comfort and condolences over my mom are in need of those things from me because of the loss of my niece. My niece before she passed was grieving the loss of her grandmother too so its hard. My other 2 nieces, the deceased nieces sisters hadn't seen each other since their grandmother died and they got together last night and just weaped. It's just tragic. Both deaths were sudden and both my mom and my niece were living their best lives and they were cut short. Plus the family has the extra anxiety of knowing me, my sister and my other niece were in a car for 14 hours driving while they were worrying about us getting here all in one piece. Then we have to do it again to get home. We can't travel or call each other on the phone anymore without worry and anxiety. Our family is small so we are holding on tight to each other. It's just too much. I know they say God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I'm done handling all this death. God doesn't need to give me anything else. I'm not handling it. I have my other nieces, and my son, soon to be grandson keeping me alive, but I past being strong and handling all these burdens long ago. Plus I lost 2 family friends children along with my mom and niece so I'm grieving for them too. In the last 40 days there have been 4 sudden deaths of people I'm very close to. June 18, July 6, July 22, July 24. My heart cracked each time. I am literally not able to Crack anymore. I'm broken. I'm done. I'm not suicidal but I'm just out of strength and I have no more ability to deal with anything else. I will literally have to be institutionalized and sedated if I hear about one more passing. I can't even come up for air from one death before I'm hearing about the next one. STOP this woman cannot handle anymore. STOP πŸ˜­πŸ’”

Posted by amberranae0974 at 2022-07-31 14:44:30 UTC