I am thinking about going back to work soon, this Sunday will be 7 weeks since my sister passed away. I’m not sure if I’m ready to go back yet, I describe it like being in a bubble, I’m still stuck in that moment she died, I feel like when I move forward and go back to work that I will be leaving this bubble. I feel scared to leave this stage behind and I feel like in a way I’m still with her, but when I move forward and start doing things again that she will be left in the past permanently. I’m scared to be that girl who has lost her sister, I’m scared of normality and people not asking about her anymore, I’m scared of being angry and annoyed because pointless things don’t matter to me anymore like they do to others. On the other hand, I think I need the routine and distraction and a reason to get out of bed. When I first joined my workplace one of their colleagues had just passed away from cancer, she was dating someone from the office but not for very long, he returned back to work when I started, they were horrible to him, telling him to get over it, laughing at him, making snide comments - I’m worried they will treat me the same and I’ll have to try to laugh it off Today I have also been so emotionally drained, I haven’t cried for the first time since she died and it’s a strange feeling ❤️‍🩹 💜💜

Posted by Kay at 2022-07-27 22:04:23 UTC