Complicated Loss is very accurate. In the past 2 years I’ve experienced loss that carries sorrow in my soul. My daughter’s father has been my best friend for 10 years. He struggled with addiction and spent most of the time incarcerated for drugs. I spoke to him almost everyday for 10 years. He’s my soulmate. He’s the father of my daughter. In July I received a call from the Chaplin at the prison telling me he had passed away. Fentanyl was found in this hand and he died from a drug overdose. The officer who responded to him also died within the hour from coming into contact with the fentanyl. They told me I had 24 hours to claim his body. He was 17 hours away. I had to choose to cremate him or else the state would bury him in the prison cemetery which isn’t allowed visitors. I miss my soulmate. I miss my best friend. My daughter grieves for her father. You’d think it wouldn’t hurt so hard for someone who I had so much distance with. But there are couples in the same household that don’t even speak to each other or live separate lives. He called everyday. Same times. He cared. He listened. He loved. He was my rock for a decade. All of a sudden he is gone. I feel so much grief, sorrow, guilt, regret, and longing. How am I suppose to navigate the world when my rock isn’t here? This wasn’t how it was suppose to be. It feels unfair.

Posted by SDB223 at 2026-01-28 17:28:54 UTC