I feel the grief of losing my neighborhood cat, my mom’s abandonment criticism and neglect, from my dad’s secret, neglect and denial, from loss of relationships from death or break ups. The grief is consuming tonight. Lost close cat a month ago and and it was the same month and day my half of family scattered my grandparents ashes without me last year (they excluded the other half). I’m sick of distance, of needing to protect myself, I’m sad that relationships were impacted by that incident. I feel so much grief and distance, I feel alone. And, spending time with people who are light hearted and want light hearted conversation is not what l need right now. My heart is hurting. I don't just feel grief from loss from death but from betrayal, unmet needs and expectations from my family, friends and former partners and it's so hard for me to open up to others because I usually haven't gotten what I needed. I just want relief from the pain, I wish I hadn't suffered through the attachment injuries and losses that I have with people who meant a lot to me and thought they'd always be there. I wish my parents knew how much their neglect impacted me. I wish they had the same emotional depth that I feel and experience. I’m trying to ease my heart by writing this post. Because I’m home alone and the grief is all consuming

Posted by ClassicWillow at 2025-09-07 02:01:51 UTC