I feel so sad. This week marks the birthdays of my late grandparents. My grandfather died on the 24th on Feb, 2022 and my grandmother in 2019. I was so close to them and they were my family. This week I also learned that another family member passed on my grandfather’s birthday this past week. Although, I wasn’t close to her it’s bringing up a lot of feelings. Unfortunately, I learned about this person’s death through a text message by an aunt and not directly from my mom who already knew. My intention is not to go a rant but to say that I feel sad about how death amplifies already toxic traits in families. I feel devastated with the poor communication, emotional avoidance, the poor care taken to notify others. I’m also struggling on reflecting on how things used to be in my family dynamic before I was aware of the unhealthy patterns. I was fortunate enough to take a few hours of sick leave these next two days but I’m devastated. February is such a hard month for me. It feels so lonely. I’m married but my husband doesn’t quite understand how to hold space for me. He also happens to be neurodivergent which makes me more difficult at times.

Posted by ClassicWillow at 2025-02-13 20:44:40 UTC