So yesterday was my birthday, more specifically it was the first birthday without either of my parents. My Dad died suddenly in an accident on 1st August, 2008. I'm in an ok place with his death. I've grieved for him and as much as I miss him, it's not as painful as it once was. I think it also helped that we weren't that close. My parents were divorced and I saw him weekends. He was always there when I needed him, but there wasn't that much we did together, regularly. My Mum is a completely different matter. She lost her cancer battle on 2nd November, 2021 and we did everything together. She was always the one I went to for everything. We were inseparable. I'm a clone of her, to the point that I was always called by her name by mistake. As much as she was struggling at the end, she went downhill really quickly and I wasn't prepared. I was stupid enough to think that I'd be able to cope without her because I'd survived losing Dad. But that was nearly 14 years ago, and I've mostly forgotten the raw emotions that hit hard at the beginning. I'm also a completely different person now. Then, I was a uni student. Now I'm in full time employment, with my own place, and I'm now my grandmother's sole carer. I'm simultaneously at the stage where I can't believe that my mother is actually gone, and resentful that she's dead, yet my 90 year old grandmother is still here. I love my Granny so so much, but, I'm finding her hard work at the moment, and I'm feeling pressured to spend time with her and do things for her, because no-one else can or will. Does anyone have any advice or experience working through this aspect of mourning?

Posted by laura.rickard at 2022-07-17 19:58:16 UTC