My dad’s birthday was this past Thursday. It was a weird day. He was sick for a long time so while his death was a relief, and we all were able to speak our peace and tell him how much we love him, the longevity of the illness almost made his death not real? Like it’s just hitting me now, 7 months later. It’s almost like there were so many doctors appointments, so many procedures, so many medicines and trips to Mayo Clinic that death was like the “next thing we had to do.” It felt like it was just all part of it. And now all of a sudden it’s like holy fuck…dad died. I don’t know if this makes sense. Sometimes I know what a gift we received by being able to be with him in his final days and say goodbye. But others days it just feels like the most cruel torture I could ever imagine, because we saw the last breath. We saw him weak and frail and unable to speak. We saw all of it. I miss you dad.

Posted by leahmbart at 2022-07-17 15:17:16 UTC