Hi, just joined here. My mum passed away 5 months ago from cancer. She was an alcoholic for about 19 years before that. About 3 years ago I started to put my own boundaries in place and walk away from her repeatedly going back to drinking, and around 6 months later she was diagnosed. The last two years were so complicated, we probably had more quality time than we’d had since I was about 11. She wasn’t drinking, she ironically was healthier than I ever remember her being. Yet she was sick, and getting sicker. Some days I feel so guilty for the relief I feel that she’s gone. Some days I just cry and cry when I think about how horribly sad her life way. Some days I don’t think about her at all and then I do and the guilt hits me over the head again. I’d been mourning the loss of her as my mum for so many years that now I don’t know what or who it is I’m actually grieving. All I know is I’m sad.

Posted by charlbe at 2024-09-26 15:27:03 UTC