The thing about grief is that here's no hiding place. It reaches into every thought, every anticipation, every pre-thought - by which I mean the physical sensations you get just before a thought...the moments when your body forgets that you have lost and sends a tiny tendril of hope into your conscious self... those nanoseconds before you reach for your phone to call, text, or anticipate sharing that piece of news or idea with the person who would have been there to respond and help create more and better ideas. And so there comes a new pain born of that moment of hope - a reckoning... It's like trying to plan a new garden whilst simultaneously tending an old one which is drenched in love and longing but which you know that you must somehow leave - even as you try and dig it all up to transplant it.
Posted by bellamadden at 2022-07-12 18:17:24 UTC