Special occasions are just too painful. What used to be times of excitement and celebrations, are now times I dread and spend mostly having meltdowns. I miss planning my Mum’s birthday and thinking about her gift. I miss how a month before my birthday, she used to do a daily countdown and say “someone’s birthday is coming up”. I miss her voice singing Happy Birthday. I used to look at her, happy and well, and think to myself that’s my birthday wish come true. All I ever wanted was for her to stay healthy and happy. I miss my Mum, I miss calling her on the phone, and calling her as soon as I came home and hearing her answer. I miss feeling safe and content because she’s there. I’ve lost her, the worst thing that could ever happen to me. And for the first time in my life, she’s not here to comfort me.

Posted by Jehan at 2022-07-09 10:01:20 UTC