Hi everyone, I turned 27 two months ago and I’ve been struggling a lot lately as I lost my dad unexpectedly in January although he was very sick on the night I was coming back home after having spent 6 months abroad. On the same day, I learned that my 20-year-old cat had passed when I was away. And as things always come in three, I lost my only grandma on the 9th of March. So, it just feels like my entire reality and everything that meant family and stability has been turned upside down in the space of two months. I currently live in the French countryside with my mom and have had nearly zero social life since I came back. I feel very lonely and my mental health has not been great. The circumstances of my dad's loss were very traumatic and made me feel really guilty about not having been able to say goodbye and not even remembering what was the last thing my dad said to me. It's also been so difficult to cope with that I also feel guilty for not being able to be very sad about losing my cat who was my childhood best friend and my grandma whom I was also close to. For the first time in four months, I took a weekend trip to the Netherlands to meet with friends and I was not able to really enjoy it. It just felt like putting on a face 24/7 while having no safe space to get alone time to unload and cry. The contrast between not seeing any friends and finding myself surrounded by people all the time in a very crowded city was a lot, as well as having to socialize with strangers. Although I don't regret going, it just made me realize how much grief is a lonely thing and that no one really understood how I could feel inside and outside. The physical consequences of grief also struck me during that trip and I felt how weak and vulnerable my body had become. Sorry about the long post and thank you for reading me. I don't really know what I expect from joining the app but I guess feeling less lonely and getting some support from people who are also going through similar stuff 🥹🫶
Posted by galandlouise at 2024-05-15 11:21:35 UTC