I don’t know how to unpack this. I should, but have never been to therapy yet. It’s crazy but it’s been 6 months since my stepdad, the only actual father figure I’ve really had, had a sudden massive heart attack out of nowhere. I was home with him and my younger sisters. Mom was in the hospital. I didn’t go check on him, I mean I had no reason to his health was fine. He had been dead for about 4 hours when I found him. I dropped out of my senior year of college because I couldn’t study or sleep. All I did was see images of that day and replaying that day. I’m home and not suicidal or as depressed anymore. It’s still hard at times. And it’s always going to be. It’s also hard having my mom having stage 4 breast and bone cancer, and diverticulitis. I’m always scared that death is right around the corner. I don’t ever want to call nine one one again.

Posted by Deleted (ade92e0e) at 2024-03-05 04:16:24 UTC