Last night I got to have dinner with my cousin who’s more like my brother. It was a great visit - we caught up, he shared his own grief journey with me, and overall just had a solid visit. I realized this evening that my time with him was the first time I’d spent time with a family member without being on guard since a couple days before my Mom passed. We had gotten to a point where I was simply accepted, and the part that hits me hardest is I thought we’d have more time than we did. My brother - whom I’ve gone back to no contact with - and my Dad ever since Mom passed have always made me feel like the next word I speak is going to be met with judgment and/or anger. I got to have a visit with my cousin that I wish I could have with my Dad as well as my brother but I can’t. Which makes me thankful for the relationship I’ve got with my cousin, as it’s a way to feel connected with my Mom once again. I hope this makes sense

Posted by hollandc7 at 2024-01-31 09:30:49 UTC