Hi everybody I’m new here and would like to share the story of my mom. On May 30th 2022 my mother passed away from a brain hemorrhage caused by a stroke brought on by metastasized breast cancer which she was battling for 16 years. My entire life was my mom being sick but I never viewed or treated her that way because that’s not what she wanted, throughout treatments she was a mom to three girls, PTO President, Girl Scout leader for decades, soccer mom, horse mom, dance mom, a mother to all our friends. Our life was a constant rotation of diagnosis, treatment, a couple years break, a new diagnosis, new treatment, break, etc. In 2018 we received the metastatic diagnosis and learned it had spread to her neck, liver, bones, and back. This diagnosis coincided with my high school graduation and me moving to Ireland for university. My parents sat me down told me and said I had to go and I can’t stop my life regardless of her diagnosis. I FaceTimed, called, and she and my sister were even able to visit me, see my campus, meet some of my friends and fulfill my moms dream of seeing Mary Queen of Scott’s in Edinburgh. In 2020 they found several spots in the brain and for the first time I knew it was truly the end. She did one more year of treatment and chemo and decided to stop after nearly 20 years she was tired and I understand. A month ago I finished my thesis and competed university and we were all looking forward to my graduation ceremony in September. Then on May 28th I received a phone call from my sister saying my mom had a stroke. I booked the soonest flight possible home, sat 6 hours on the plane and 5 hours in the car to get to the hospital. In between I was sitting on FaceTime with everyone all day and night without sleep. In the car ride up I managed to sleep a bit but woke up at 4:40pm and fell back asleep. Two hours later we arrived at the hospital and I learned my mother passed at 4:40 and I had missed her by two hours. I feel guilt, sadness, relief every emotion about missing the passing of my mom. The funeral is over and my sisters have returned home and to work and partners. My father has returned to work and I’m now at my childhood home all day as an unemployed grieving college graduate. I know I have to move on but honestly it doesn’t feel like I can right now. How am I suppose to enter this new chapter of my adult life without my mother?

Posted by RaeW at 2022-06-21 14:17:34 UTC