Lost my access and relationship with my little boy, L, after three years. Was in a serious relationship, lived together and was raising him as my own, not just a “step”. My parents were his grandparents. Full family integration. Nothing but respect and teamwork with bio-mom. My partner ended things very suddenly last year, and cut off all access to L. This year was unbearable. Christmas was grueling. I dream of his smell and singing him to sleep. I cry when I realize I don’t know his shoe size anymore. His birthday is in two weeks, and it feels like a piece of me will simply never come back. Best case scenario for his sake, he has forgotten me entirely. Worst case scenario, I am the first person he thinks left him in his life.

Posted by KMNJ at 2024-01-02 01:48:13 UTC