Good evening, my name is Genae. I lost multiple family members to various health issues along with a very close friend of my to gunshot violence all within 2021 and 2022. I lost my grandfather to a major heart attack with multiple complications in 12/2021, 2 great aunt's to lung cancer 3/2021 and 6/2021 and another great aunt to ovarian cancer 4/2022. The close friend that passed was shot 8/2021. This friend was someone I've loved since elementary school the only person who understood my quietness and could get me out my shell. With these people gone I feel lost, as if I have failed them, and a little angry with my self for not being more accomplished in my life so that they would have had an opportunity to witness my accomplishments. I have anxiety behind these loss because I'm battling with what I should be doing and wanting to give up all together. I tried counseling but found myself running away from that as well as it brought up a whole other field of emotions I wasn't ready to touch. I struggle with the thoughts that my grandfather won't be present the day I get married if that day ever comes. I struggle with my feelings of anger because I wasn't expecting my friend to leave me in the way that he did. I'm not sure if these are things we share but this is it I guess.

Posted by genae_sam at 2022-06-20 22:14:11 UTC