My name is Ana. I’m 23. I lost my best friend to suicide in 2015 and it was the worst pain I ever felt. She was only 14. It’s been a long road battling guilt and “what ifs” as well as everyone in my friend group attempting in subsequent years. Finally, I felt, in the last year, I turned a corner. Everyone was doing better and time seemed to make coping a little easier. I then found out a friend, who I was close to in middle school, passed unexpectedly in November of 2019 due to a brain aneurysm. She was only 20. Then, October 16, 2021, I lost my other best friend unexpectedly in a car accident. He passed two days after his 22nd birthday. We talked on his birthday and made so many plans for winter break. In March of 2022. I lost another friend unexpectedly in an accidental drowning. It happened the day before his 23 birthday. After my best friends suicide in 2015, I always feared losing someone else because the thought of grieving again felt impossible. It’s been so so hard. Every single time it’s harder. Im so scared of losing more people. I literally live in fear. Every time my phone rings my heart drops. I hate it.

Posted by anaaaaaa at 2022-06-20 04:04:49 UTC