In early 2023 my ex of 1 year went into surgery and died from complications immediately after. We were not in an OK place at the time, we had planned to meet up after they had recovered to talk everything through so that our friendship could really bloom. They were so funny, they made me laugh until I cried. They would stop abruptly when walking to save snails from the path so they'd not be stepped on. Our relationship had many issues and I feel like there are so many apologies I'll never get from them. Everyone else around them gets to grieve in an uncomplicated way, whereas I'm stuck here with the knowing that some things they did were abusive, while also loving them. When an ex dies people seem to act like the death is no big deal for you, when in fact, I actually lost the person who knew me better than anyone else for such a long time. There was a time in my life where they were "my everything", and now people act like that never happened just because we broke up and because I have a current partner.

Posted by jmer at 2023-12-19 09:45:32 UTC