My fiancé of 12 years passed away suddenly on April 23rd, I found him in our home where I found him gasping for breath and unresponsive on the 20th. Several days later, in a coma with severe brain damage, when his body began failing and shutting down, and at risk for another cardiac event.. we said our goodbyes. I haven’t felt the same since. Even in my happy moments with my step kids, there are still feelings of despair and loneliness, guilt and depression, looming in the background. Then just a couple days ago, the dog that he got for my birthday 11 years ago passed away at 11 years and 5 months old. He was my baby. I still have his dog to hold onto, but he was my tiny little muffin. I don’t even feel as though I’ve processed losing my dog, as it’s overshadowed by losing the love of my life and still trying to process life without him to lean on and go to and feel that comfort and safety. Everything is overwhelming and soon I will have to go back to work next month after I get back in town. I know I will likely be okay overall, but I know that I will have moments where I cannot handle the overwhelming emotions. I just feel absolutely all over the place and lost.
Posted by Kimberly at 2022-06-18 03:50:24 UTC