About 15 years ago, my mom chose to attempt murder-suicide due to me coming out as trans to her. I had traumatic amnesia and remembered it back about 10 years ago when I was in college. And my dad cut contact, then my grandfather. Although I “lost” them, I feel like I had lost myself the most. I got kicked out of school for being trans, and experienced harassments by healthcare workers, past coworkers, boss, interpersonal relationships and now my body developed autoimmune illness(which is causing disability) that I truly think all the trauma has caused. Today is trans day of remembrance and my grief is very much triggered. I am still struggling with assigned shame, and am scared to face more harm. The only thing that keeps me going is my partner and my cats. I am exhausted but I will keep on looking for all the signs that shows that the world can be safe for me to exist.

Posted by Deleted (35a6cea7) at 2023-11-20 23:14:56 UTC