I’ve experienced more loss than ever before in the last couple of years. It began in 2020 with the loss of an ex-boyfriend who had a big impact on my life to a week later losing my husbands father. In 2021, 6-months later, two of my uncles passed away unexpectedly about a month apart from one another. I was a mess then and didn’t think it could get worse. Then my grandma passed away after contesting COVID twice, getting sepsis and having various organs fail. That was about 6-weeks ago and I’m having the hardest time coping. My grandma was in my life EVERY SINGLE DAY! She raised me alongside my mother and filled in every gap imaginable. She was a tough cookie, sassy like no other and hysterical. I miss her inappropriate sense of humor every day. I’m struggling to get on with life, and to share my feelings of loss with my husband. My husband lost his dad two years ago and somehow bounced back. We recently argued because he wants to make sure I’m doing all that I can do to feel better. His heart’s in a good place but the truth is I’m struggling with even getting out of bed or showering most days. How can I have the energy for anything other than work? Which is partially his concern. He wants to make sure I’m focusing on my health as well. He’s a huge help as he works, cooks, cleans and does the laundry and so much more. He loves me to pieces and wants to be there for me and our family as much as he can. But he’s so Type A, proactive and on point, and I’m not sure how to explain to him that I don’t have it in me to do more re: exercise, go for walks, etc. He wants a game plan and I don’t have one. I know he’s trying to understand where I’m coming from but now I feel like on top of already grieving the greatest loss of my life I have to somehow get it together and focus on my health as quickly as possible so that I don’t worry him.

Posted by jessiejade26 at 2022-06-15 03:19:15 UTC