I lost my best friend to suicide. She was very similar to me in bipolar but she had bad self control and hurt herself a lot. I’ve always known a spiritual center within and I don’t hurt myself. But she was put on the wrong medication for her. I must see that I am not her, I advocate for myself more. But she was a love of my life. We were also in college together to become psychologists. When she died I thought psychology couldn’t save her. We both were in therapy at the time. I branched off into other interests in college- art and spirituality. But I still want to be a psychologist. I’m older now. She died in 2004. We were the same age. I’m 44 now. I struggle a lot with bipolar and friendships, and wanting a stronger purpose in society. My dad died 6 years ago. He was very abusive. He pushed me to strive for more than I was capable of. Now that he’s gone, I stopped striving as much for accomplishments. But now I see I can be happy not being famous or great in the eyes of others. I’m learning about codependency and the solution of loving myself, and finding worth within without a title from others.

Posted by michelebrady at 2023-11-07 23:47:53 UTC