I lost both of my older brothers in a car crash almost 6 years ago, because someone drove the wrong way down the interstate. I have 2 younger siblings whom I’m immensely thankful for, but my older brothers were my only full siblings, and I didn’t know life without them. We didn’t have a good childhood, lots of parents fighting, struggling financially, being in bad home environments, etc. and we were all just starting to get our footing in life. It pains me that they never got to see the opportunities they were just starting to work towards because of some guy. Every year just feels more bizarre. I surpassed both of them in age 2 years ago, and it’s so weird thinking about how us all being 2 years apart was such a big part of who I was. The fact that I’ve already seen more life than both of them is something I don’t know how to deal with. I have good friends who try their best to be supportive but I’ve never met anyone who gets it.

Posted by cello at 2023-08-21 02:44:56 UTC