On April 7, Nick passed away in his sleep. We knew each other for more than 10 years in college and only recently reconnected and fell in love so quickly and completely that it left us both in awe for how life turns out. I still have a hard time comprehending the loss. The loss of this beautiful, complicated person who filled me with so much joy and peace. The loss of the future we just felt was implied because we knew we had found the person who would be with us always. I still wake up thinking he’ll be there with his sideways smile and hugs that envelope me in a tangle of arms and legs. There’s something that happens every day that I want to share with him. Sometimes the grief is numb, like sleepwalking. Sometimes it’s so vast, it feels like I’m drowning. But I look for the moments in each day where I can take a deep breath in and out, and try to keep going.
Posted by Pamela at 2022-06-01 19:29:04 UTC