Hearing “I know how you feel” can send me spiraling. No you don’t. I’m a prisoner of my own mind. Completely incapable of letting you in on my secrets. I refuse to let anyone scratch the surface. I hate the looks of confused compassion. It looks like they don’t even believe me sometimes. I hate that they wonder how I can tell stories without sobbing, never realizing I’ve been speaking of such things since I could comprehend what was happening. “How are you?” “I’m okay.” “How was your weekend?” “It was good! Didn’t do much” I’m a liar. I haven’t been okay for a long while. Even before this loss. And now? I’m not sure what I’m doing here. I’m struggling to be honest about who this new person is. I don’t know her very well and I don’t like her at all.
Posted by janette_cyn at 2022-05-30 14:31:03 UTC