Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ve never been a huge fan of birthdays, but they seem almost impossible since last year. My last birthday was my first birthday since losing my dad (March) and my grandfather (April). I didn’t handle my grief the best and lost a lot of my friends after a break down on my birthday. Since then I’ve Shut out so many people. It gets even harder, knowing I’ll never have another birthday celebration with my grandparents. And even though my father was absent he never forgot my birthday. I’m falling apart at the seams and it feels so stupid. Like aren’t I supposed to be celebrating? How do I celebrate making another year with out them? Knowing I’m only getting older and they’ll never see any progress I make. I’m currently sitting in my car outside my house crying, because I couldn’t stop thinking about my birthdays with my grandfather on my drive home. This shit really does come in waves, sometimes even tsunamis.

Posted by CaraB at 2023-05-30 01:28:59 UTC