Hi, my name is Erika and I lost my husband Karl to cancer on the 26th February. We were only together for three years but managed to bring our wedding forward which should have been boxing day this year to August 21 so for 6 months and 4 days we were man and wife. Even though we weren't together for many years it feels like we were we really fitted together and our love for each other was so different from my first marriage. There was something very special about it that I had never experienced before. Right now I find life very hard. I stay in bed all day unless I have a medical appointment as I'm disabled and have health issues. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. It is my youngest daughter's wedding on the 3rd June her 3rd attempt due to covid and I know I have to put on a brave face and pretend I'm not hurting but I know it's going to be a long and tough day. I know the tears will start when she puts her wedding dress on but I can excuse those to mum tears. I have no friends near where I live and I'm not close to my brother or sister and my eldest daughter and my grandchildren live in Surrey so I don't get to see them often. I feel so lost and alone. No idea how to deal with anything and I'm trying to support my stepson as well who I barely know which is very hard. Because Karl had cancer I somehow thought things would be easier as I knew he didn't have long but I think it made it worse as I cared for him at home with no support and had no idea what to expect as it was very sudden at the end and not expected. I put on a brave face to everyone when I just want to cry and some one put there arms around me and tell me it will be ok given time. I can't see any amount of time making me feel better. I think I've used tonight's quota of tears writing this. Look forward to finding how to learn to cope and get out of this black hole. Xx

Posted by Erikabaty1 at 2022-05-24 02:29:58 UTC