It’s been 8 weeks since my ex boyfriend died. We broke up in July of 2021 after 4.5 years together. We kept in almost daily contact up until 4 months before he died. I don’t know why we stopped talking. Nothing happened. I guess I started to think we needed to move on but I didn’t want to never speak to him again. I think about him constantly and I keep asking myself why this is so hard when he wasn’t in my life anymore. Nothing has changed but it feels like everything is different. It kills me that I didn’t get to say goodbye. I fear that he was upset or hurt by me when he died. I miss him and I’m so sad that I can’t text my best friend anymore. I feel like my body is screaming that it’s so unfair and just wrong the way things ended. This wasn’t how our story was supposed to end. I feel guilty for feeling this way. My loss isn’t significant enough to feel like this and then I feel guilty when I feel good or ok for too long.

Posted by Deleted (718b7a1c) at 2023-04-01 03:59:23 UTC