If we were just friends then I could say things differently but you left without letting me be your friend. You left hurt and angry at me. Or did you? They said you were in a good place the night before. That you were proud of the girls and running after Lollipop. You had been looking at houses to buy and women to date. You were healing and You were still wounded. Like the dream I had “impaled just below the heart”. Your mom wants to see me. Invites me over for parties and holidays. I don’t want holidays with your mom. I wanted YOU to have holidays with your mom. My heart is heavy. I know why, yet I wish it were a little lighter or less frequent. I am inviting Jesus in to my memories of you- life with you and life without you. I need His healing touch. I told you that you broke me and now you’ve broken me again. Did you mean it? Did you still love me? Was your hurt and shame so deep that I was unworthy of love? How do I reconcile this? Betrayal, Abandonment, Fissured. Who am I? A widow? A wife? A wounded woman? I want to be healed, helped, whole. Lord, come into this space with me and help me, heal me, make me whole. Please.

Posted by Deleted (8800739b) at 2023-03-22 20:59:02 UTC