Today is 2 weeks and 3 days since my beautiful boy died. Yesterday was spent dropping clothes to the funeral directors, arranging the funeral flowers and finally getting a death certificate. Today I can continue the death admin process. This is not the life we had planned. I find myself lost, alone, completely devastated and wanting you so much to turn to you at this horrific time. You were my one true cheerleader- always supportive, not critical, encouraging, always having time for my worries and concerns. I’m not sure I can do this without you, and I know for certain that I don’t want to. I play those last days over again and again, could I have done things differently, should I have kept you at home, would you still be with me? Does anyone else feel like this- that somehow the outcome would have been different if they had done things?? Ruth xxx

Posted by ruthb69 at 2022-05-17 07:00:44 UTC