Hi My name is becky I lost my dad back in 2015 he was poorly for a while he had kidney failure due to diabetes he passed from them and from sepsis. I didn't really grieve for him because I was so busy looking after my mum and making sure she was ok. They were together for 30 years. Then on new years eve of 2019 I lost my aunty to cancer and pneumonia. I was very close to her. My mum was close to her too. Mum went down hill a bit when my aunty passed. They were always together. Then last year we lost my uncle who was married to my aunty. He passed from pneumonia too. Mum got ill last year she got covid pneumonia whilst she was in hospital with something else. She then got heart failure and respiratory failure from the cobid which left her bed bound. She came out of hospital 4 months later and I became her full-time carer. She then started going into hospital every few weeks with infection after infection. Then on 1st February thus year she went into hospital with shortness of breath. She swelled up so bad that's when they told us that her kidneys were not working properly. Then on the 12th Feb I got the phone call I'd been dreading she wasn't getting any better and they told me that we should go in and be with her. Me and my sister went in and mum looked so poorly and she asked us if she was dying we told her no that she wasn't dying because she was so scared of dying and leaving us. We were sent home on that night and told to go and get some rest because the next few days were going to be hard. We went back in the next day and the consultant told us there was nothing else they could do for her and we should just make her comfortable and spend as much time as we could with her. They sedated her we got to have one last conversation with her before she drifted off. The last thing she said to me was that she loved me. I was absolutely heartbroken. She passed away 12 hours later she passed away on her own. Because we nipped out for some fresh air. It happened so fast. My mum was my world she was my best friend. I feel so guilty because I left her. I should never have left her. I wish I had fought harder for her. Its my first birthday without her tomorrow and I don't want to be around anyone x

Posted by rebeccacooke664 at 2022-05-12 22:49:39 UTC