My dad had passed away on January 2, 2022. It’s been an everyday struggle to just find motivation to continue on. I had moved back with my family back in March 2020 because of COVID. I then started graduate school around the time my dad’s healths took a turn for the worse. He eventually choose to go on hospice care. I pushed down a lot of my emotions during that period because school was a major stressor and I wanted to support my dad and family as best as I could. He was exposed and died due to Covid. I’ve had peace knowing that my family honored his wishes of staying at home. However, I’m noticing a lot of guilt and sadness hitting. I really didn’t notice til after my birthday and Easter came around. The holidays just feel like another day and I don’t want to go celebrating anything. Like my thoughts go to “why should I be celebrating that my dad isn’t here?” I’ve started therapy since I’m really struggling to adjusting, especially to this COVID world. So many people say insensitive comments and it’s difficult finding compassionate people in my program. I think about him everyday and feel guilty for something irrational. I’m in school to become a healthcare professional and I just feel guilty that I couldn’t be the one to have helped him somehow.

Posted by vanessaduran117 at 2022-05-08 02:04:20 UTC